


As Above, So Below

by Scorpius_Wears_Short_Skirts, StormFireGirl



Series: Et Mors [2]
Category: Hazbin Hotel (Web Series)
Genre: Alastor Has a Heart (Hazbin Hotel), Angel Dust-Typical Sexual Content (Hazbin Hotel), Asexual Alastor (Hazbin Hotel), Cancer, Existentialism, F/M, M/M, Mentions of Cancer, Multi, Nice Alastor (Hazbin Hotel), Original Character-centric, Sex Work, Sex Worker Angel Dust (Hazbin Hotel), The Author Regrets Nothing, Trans Angel Dust (Hazbin Hotel)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-24
Updated: 2020-08-19
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:46:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 15,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25494832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scorpius_Wears_Short_Skirts/pseuds/Scorpius_Wears_Short_Skirts, https://archiveofourown.org/users/StormFireGirl/pseuds/StormFireGirl
Summary: Cora's time has finally come to an end. Fortunately, she knows where she's going and has prepared well in advance. Unfortunately, no preparation in the human world could prepare her for the twists and turns in the Hellian One.
Relationships: Alastor/Angel Dust (Hazbin Hotel), Original Male Character/Original Female Character
Series: Et Mors [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1846900
Comments: 19
Kudos: 149





	1. Reunion

**Author's Note:**

> Cora, Stephen, Talia, Cyrus, and Whirl all belong to StormFireGirl
> 
> Tally, Brodie, and Bo belong to Scorpius_Wears_Short_Skirts, who is also providing characterizations for Angel and Alastor, who belong to Vivziepop
> 
> While this is not canon to YCTH!Verse, that is the base we're using for a sandbox to play in

Cora let out a ragged wheeze as she laid in her hospital bed. Everything hurt. Fucking cancer. Her niece was there, her sister too. Cards from fans, letters praising her work, wishing her well. The doctors kept saying that this new drug, or this new treatment would reverse her cervical cancer. Fuck it. The forty-two year old was done, absolutely _done_ with trying to prevent the inevitable.

Stephen, her husband of eighteen years was gone. He had been for two now. Talia and Cyrus had died three years ago in a car crash, their kids were still mourning. Whirl? He’d died years and years before. He’d been the first to go. Guess he really couldn’t _wait_ to start the party! . Her last manuscript had been sent into her publisher and editor, she’d spoken to her lawyer and had gotten a trust fund set up for Kailah and left her things to her sister and remaining family. Funny, most didn’t get to plan out and get ready to finally go. And, fewer still really had an absolute knowledge that they knew where they were going. Junie and Kailah had gone to get a sandwich from downstairs. She was alone, in this cold room, where some of her best works painted it as a terrible place to be. It was Halloween night. There was nothing left to do but wait for the end.

Then the footsteps sounded, coming from the adjacent wall and approaching her. Click, click, click… she recognized them. She remembered them from all those years ago. She didn’t need to open her eyes to know who had leaned over her hospital bed, and reached out to touch her bald, gaunt head.

"Time to go, dear." Alastor said softly. "Leave this body behind. You'll get a new one."

“Mmm. I was, starting to wonder if you’d forget about me.” Cora let out a raggedy, coughing laugh and cracked a weak grin. “So. Where am I going?”

“I’m here, am I not?”

“Good… ‘least it won’t be so bad. Better than going to that stuffy place upstairs.”

“Shall we?”

“Hang on. Hang on… ‘m coming Alastor." She let out a long exhale and reached up. Right hand. She struggled to breathe. “If there’s, anything, here, goes nothing…”

A chuckle. A hand grasped hers, there was a shock. and the world changed. The radio on the speakers above her had stopped playing PAs. There was instead only soft music. Her eyes opened, and she sat up, for the first time on her own in so many months. She looked at Alastor, and scoffed. “ ‘Let’s Misbehave’, really?”

She only received a wink, and Cora shook her head and stretched. “So, when do we drop down?”

“We’re not going to drop. We’re going to hot step our way there!” He pulled her from her hospital bed, her boots clapped against the tile.

Her niece was coming into the room, and she startled upon seeing the two walk towards the wall, hand in hand, vanishing without a trace as the heart monitor showed a flatline.

The next thing Cora registered was that something felt _different_. Something was pushing out of her back, and it was almost itchy. She reached around to scratch, and froze, patting something. “Alastor? What the hell’s on my back?!”

Alastor looked, his grin widening. "Oh, flight lessons will be in order, I think!" He laughed. "Well, I taught Husker. I can teach you."

"What- wait- wings?!" She patted her back, and felt the appendages. Well then. "Flight less- you don't even have wings!"

"I kicked him off of the Clock Tower! He figured it out." Alastor cheered. "Eventually."

“Haha, pass, just for now.” Wings of all things!

As they walked, Cora caught glimpses of her reflection. Her hair was back, dark with some orange streaks and two pieces flicked upwards, like antennae. Her wings were _huge_ , hanging down her back all the way to her calves. “I was, not expecting to be a bug, I’m not gonna lie.” She admitted, poking her pale cheek.

"Well nonetheless, you're looking much better now than you did minutes ago!" Alastor cheerfully replied as they walked down the street together. So many Sinners, beings Cora only heard about over the last twenty years. There were monsters and devils and animals and inanimate objects - everything the human mind could dream up there was a body type! Alastor's true form made a whole lot more sense now in comparison with Angel.

Angel. She'd get to see him again too soon! Was that where they were going? To meet up with him, figure out where she should go next?

"Here we are, my dear!" It was right outside of a bar that Alastor stopped, letting go of Cora's hand before pushing a pink plastic card into it. "You can borrow my card until you get your own. I hardly use it unless Angel's with me anyway." He said as if that explained anything. He turned to leave, waving a hand over his shoulder. "I have to take care of something. Have fun!"

“Oh thanks- wait- wait what-?” She looked back up and Alastor was gone! “HEY!” She yelled, catching a few eyes but not much else. “ALASTOR?!” Nothing. Her shoulders dropped and her jaw did too. She then growled and felt the wings on her back fan out. “Son of a- great. Great! It’s every woman for herself out here.” She glanced down at the card, exhaled, and shook her head. “Cool. Guess there’s only one place to go.” She headed for the door, holding the card.

Leaning against the door was a gerbil in a leather tricorn and coat, hand loosely on the hilt of a sheathed sword. "Cards only. Don't want nobody startin' nothin. Savvy?" He warned, but brightened and let her pass as soon as he saw the familiar pink plastic flashed his way. He could tell it was borrowed, but most first timers started out with a borrowed card. "Talk to Mum about yer own card. Easy to get so long's you behave." He advised, touching the tip of his hat in lazy salute.

“Ah, yeah, sure. Thanks, sir.” Cora nodded, a tad awkwardly as she started to walk in. Her wings, still fanned out, brushed up against the gerbil’s arm and she shuddered in discomfort. “Frick-!” She forced them shut. “Oh that’s going to be a pain in the ass…”

"Not that kind of bar, Miss." The gerbil chuckled, but understood the wing mishap may have been an honest mistake. Cora didn’t correct him.

The bar was hopping, Sinners milling about, chatting about this and that. Cora tried to focus. Why had Alastor dropped her off there? What was so special about this place? She sat down, fingers sticking in her ears and frustrated. She knew Alastor, at least well enough, to know he didn’t do things at random without reason.

“So what’s the reason?” She muttered to herself, peering around at the crowd. She recognized it as a drag bar, if she wanted to even start making assumptions. Her eyes fell onto the bar, and then a bartender, and she squinted. He had horns, spiky ones. His whole body looked like it was sharp and jagged. But, his eyes, such pretty blue-

No. No it couldn’t be! Her hands dropped, her breath quickened. Images flickered in her mind, those eyes-! She stood up, nearly knocking her chair over and rushed over to the bar, pushing an incoming customer aside. She ignored their angry yell. Her mouth went dry, she couldn’t breathe-

“Stephen?”

He dropped the glass and looked at her. She choked. All she could blurt out, after two years of being separated was a soft, “hey-”

He leaped over the bar and pulled her close, tightly, and Cora ignored the sensitivity of her wings. She hugged him back, breaking down into tears as she held onto her husband. Surprisingly he wasn’t as sharp as he looked!

“You’re here!” He choked out. “You’re here…!”

“I missed you so much!”

He pulled back, cupping her cheeks, smiling through his tears. “I missed you too!”

They didn’t hesitate to kiss, there in the busy bar, with patrons watching. When they parted, they didn’t let go, crying and hugging each other tightly. Then, a shout:

“cooRRRAAAAA!!!”

She let go and turned, only to get partially knocked over by a cat-like Sinner! “Wh- who-? Wait- Talia?!?”

“You’re here you’re really here!!!” She squealed and bounced, excitedly. “CYRUS! CORA’S HERE!” She waved frantically over at a shadowy/skeletal Sinner, who came rushing over immediately. “I can’t believe it, we’re all down here together!”

“All-?”

“Whirl’s here too! He’s just getting ready for his set, I’ll go get him!” Talia sped off again.

“You- you guys look so different, I wouldn’t have recognized you Cyrus! And- and Stephen, I almost didn’t!”

“What gave me away?”

“Your eyes.” She said softly, chuckling weakly. “I’m sappy.”

“I missed that.” He grabbed her hand gently. “We started to wonder if you’d come down here or not.”

They moved away from the Bar, over to where Cora had been sitting. “How did you even find us?” Cyrus asked.

“Alastor, we made a deal awhile ago that he’d come get me when it was my time.” She grinned wryly. “Tonight was that time.”

“Halloween Night. Damn.” Stephen shook his head. "Did, the cancer-?"

"It came back, yeah." She sighed, shrugging. "I had time to set my affairs in order and write one more thing before I left. So there's-"

“WHERE THE HELL IS SHE?!” Everyone, patrons included, turned to look as a large blue feathered and one eyed Sinner came barrelling over. They were dressed in a red, sparkling halter top and low waisted miniskirt.

“Whirl?!” Cora’s jaw dropped. He was taller than he’d been in life!

“No it’s Santa Clause!” He sneered and grabbed her, picking her up and spun on his heels. “You beautiful bitch I missed you so fucking much!”

Cora was set down, wheezing, but resumed her smile. They’d all made it. They were all together again after being apart for so many years!

"Baby I don't mind you visitin' but if you get your set started late that pushes back everyone else." A low southern drawl warned as a very tall demon came into the immediate space.

“Sorry ma!” Whirl chuckled sheepishly. “The last of us made it down! This is Cora, I told ya ‘bout her.” He shoved her to the front, and Cora came face to- well, beak, with a large rooster!

She was in a sequined green cocktail dress, the back of the skirt split to make way for the large flowing red, green, and black feathers of her much more literal cock's tail. The arms of the dress were also cut lower, since Tally's wings were the same limb as her arms unlike the majority of demons who had the two separated. Over her shoulders was a knitted shawl so sparkly it may have been made from tinsel. She was nine feet tall, mostly a gingery color aside from her more decorative plumage, with a sharp beak and jeweled razors over her already dangerous natural spurs and talons.

“Cora, this is Tally Hoe.” Stephen smiled at his clearly intimidated wife.

"Get a look at those wings!" Tally praised, then asked. "You into showin' off?"

“Ah, sorry, what?”

“Wait how’d you even get in here?” Talia realized. “This is member’s only!”

“Alastor kinda, lent me a card.” She chuckled awkwardly.

Whirl wheezed. “Oh the fucker planned this! He came in the other night and asked if we were all working this Halloween. I was wondering what the Here he was planning!”

“He dropped us off here too.” Stephen chuckled awkwardly. “But he at least told us that the others were here.”

Cora had a deadpan look. “Of course I’m the favorite and wasn’t told. Asshat. Nothing changes in twenty fucking years!”

Whirl had doubled over laughing, and then patted Cora on the head. She batted the hand away. “Tally, is it okay if I take the rest of the night off? I wanna go get Cora settled in.” Stephen asked, almost giddy.

"Well… Since it's a family reunion." Tally mused, then whistled. "Brodie, honey. Get Desiré to watch the door for a bit. Take the bar."

"Aye Mum!" The gerbil called, making quick work of trading stations with another demon that looked similar to a sheep but had three eyes.

“I’ll get you a card for tomorrow night!” Talia told Cora and hugged her again. She was smiling from ear to ear. She reminded Cora of the Cheshire Cat. “I missed you so much! We’ll catch up soon okay?!”

Another round of hugs from her friends, and Stephen and Cora left the bar as soon as Cora had arrived. Her heart was beating, hard, and not even fifteen feet from the door Stephen leaned in and kissed her again. She felt like she was eighteen again, all the rush of newness and excitement and anxiety! Her wings fanned out again, and she huffed. “Dammit!”

Stephen wheezed. “Babe that- that’s adorable.”

“Shut up.” They started walking again and Cora’s head was on a swivel, taking in her new environment more fully. “Where are we going?”

“Home!”

“You live here?” Cora asked, peering up at the run down apartment complex.

“Well. I do, and my roommate.” He chuckled awkwardly. “I had to find a place to live that would be cheap enough with my wages, plus have enough room in case you appeared.”

Cora shrugged. “Eh we lived in worse. Well I did. You sorta.”

“Middle Class isn’t “sorta” worse.” Stephen said as they walked inside. The lobby and stairs smelled faintly of ammonia and old beer. “I actually call this an improvement from where I grew up. Nicer neighbors.” There was a crash and scream from downstairs. “Most of the time.”

Right. They were in Hell. Cora had to keep reminding herself.

Stephen unlocked the door of his apartment and led Cora inside, and he dropped the keys into the side dish on the table. “Bo?” He called out. “You up man?”

"No." Came a sarcastic reply, followed by an odd sound like paper sliding over cloth accompanied by a quiet, rhythmic thump.

Grey scales broken up by navy blue splotches, some of which looked a bit like a flower pattern. Tired eyes behind glasses and fluffed up hair, dull aside from dyed-in streaks of pink, that clearly hadn't been brushed yet. The papery sound had been due to the fact this particular demon had a tail to slither on instead of walking on legs, and the thumps had been the cane which was decorated with clearer and brighter blue flowers. He was in total about fifteen feet long, but only five of those were upright. A much more normal python rested around his neck and over his shoulder, one of his pets.

“Yeah uh, dude? My wife is here…” He motioned to Cora, who blinked slowly. “Hon, this is my roommate, Bo.”

"Hey," Bo waved with the hand not pushing his weight to his cane. He smiled at her, a bit crooked.

“Hi, it’s nice to meet you.”

"Oh, you'll change your mind." Bo chuckled, joking as he offered a scaled hand in greeting. "Most people only like me for about half an hour."

“Well surprise surprise, I have to live with you so I better learn to like you.” She shook his hand, though hesitated slightly upon choosing which one. Force of habit due to Alastor’s presence in her life. Stephen was beaming elven ear to ear.

"Oh come on, my hands are clean." Bo snorted, but didn't seem too offended by it.

“I ah- I messed with Loa as a kid. It’s kind of a force of habit now.” Cora, as usual, missed the ‘joke’ in his tone and took it seriously.

“She’s the one who convinced all of us to summon Alastor.” Stephen specified.

"Riiiight." Bo remembered. "Well who doesn't fuck with witchcraft as a kid, huh?"

“Yeah, focus of one of my novels where you have the one kid where nothing happens, then boom, it does for the other.” She shrugged idly. “I just messed with straight up voodoo.”

“You want a drink Cora?”

“Yes please hon.” She felt herself slipping back into a mindset she hadn’t been in since he was alive. It felt so familiar and warm.

"I would like a drink also." Bo said, tone turning jokingly sweet.

"I'm surprised you aren't drunk now." Stephen snorted. “Cora, alcoholic or non alcoholic?”

“Oh, what do we have for al-?”

“Everything.”

“Wow.”

“Most of it’s not mine hon. It’s his.” He pointed at Bo.

"I like sharing!" Bo chirped. "Plus rooming with a bartender is fun cuz I can get creative and then he steals my ideas."

She smiled. “Rum and coke then.”

“... also, babe, just as a head’s up?” He grabbed the bottles. “Down here, rum and coke is a _very_ different combination.” He took them to the counter. It took Cora a moment to clue in.

“Really?!”

“It’s Hell hon. Different rules. A lot of addicts, mostly everyone now. It’s rum and cola.”

"If you don't do drugs before dyin' Hell might just get you started." Bo said. "I just drink mostly, it's enough… And sometimes tranqs…"

“Eh. Smoked weed from time to time.” She shrugged as Stephen fixed himself a long island tea and she snorted. “You couldn’t even make a cosmo without spilling it!”

“I had some good teachers at Tally’s.” He said, finishing up. “Plus the tail helps as an extra appendage.” He finished and brought their drinks over. “Made you a double.” He held out the Kahlua to Bo.

"Niiiice." Bo said, pulling a can of cold coffee from the fridge to go with it.

“You and my sister, I couldn’t ever with the stuff. Bailey’s or nothing.”

“Just like Sif.” Stephen chuckled and Cora’s grin dropped for a moment. Then she picked it right back up.

“Well. Here we are. Together again!”

"I'm disgusting and I'm proud!" Bo said, dumping the coffee into the kahlua.

“To being reunited in the unholiest of places and being goddamn happy about it!” She raised her glass to Stephen’s.

“To our new life and hundreds of years of marriage left for us.” He clinked it, and both drank their booze after swinging it back.

Bo chugged his. Cora watched with fascination, and then; “so how’d you end up down here?” Stephen choked on his drink.

"Fuckin' _excuse me?_ " Bo asked, as if Cora had asked him something particularly offensive.

“Hon, you ah- that’s not really something you ask people down here.”

“Wh- oh fuck right. Sorry, I forgot the whole, ‘don’t ask, don't tell’ rule.” She apologized with a wince.

"If a demon wants you to know they'll tell you." Bo stated, calming as he realized it wasn't an intentional blunder. "Otherwise ain't your business. Some of us would rather not think about it..."

“If it helps you remember, it’d be like people asking you ‘what kind of Asian you are’.” Stephen added and Cora’s look darkened.

“Gotcha.” She huffed and took another drink. “For the record, Bo, I’m Malay. Half.” She advised. “Since we’re on the ‘if a demon wants you to know’ subject.” Her wings fluttered idly, and she tried to flatten them.

"Half native american. Lower creek. Still ain't sayin' what I did to get here."

“Right.” Well, if anything, Bo probably was sick of her before the half hour was up!

Bo sighed. It wasn't her fault she didn't know. He composed himself, putting on a smile. She'd learn. It was her first day dead, after all. "Alright, look I ain't sayin' why I got sent here specific, but the guy had it coming." Bo said vaguely. "Don't ask how people died either or touch anybody's deathmarks if you see them. That shit's real personal."

“I won’t.” Sounded like them-

_DON’TWANTTOREMEMBER_

Cora yelped and dropped her glass, it shattering! “What the fuck?!?”

"Okay that's two of us banned from glass!" Bo said, then added. "Also what the fuck?"

“Hon-?”

“Did you hear that?! Someone shouted! Someone-” Cora looked around for the source.

“Oh. The link. Right.” Stephen suddenly became somber. “Bo uh, can you clean that up? I’ve got some stuff to explain to Cora real quick.”

"Yeah don't want glass in nobody's footsies." Bo said, trying to lighten things up as he assumed the sudden stress may have been his fault in part.

“Do you need some-?”

“Hang on hon.” Stephen interrupted. “He’s got this.”

Bo moved to get the broom, tread scales not as sensitive to glass as long as he didn't try scooting backward. He grabbed the broom, hooking the handle with his wrist and elbow of his free arm since the cane had him used to doing things one-handed if he had to 'stand'. He pulled up the high stool to sit on in front of the sink to do dishes as well since it was just the cups and he didn't want the chore to get backed up, occasionally pushing the actual snake back up onto his shoulder. "No, Windy. You can't go in the sink. You just want in the pipes and it's gross in there."

Stephen and Cora went into Stephen’s room, and Cora could smell his cologne from the nightstand. It was comforting. “So. Remember how, when Alastor first showed up he mentioned everyone gets a personal Hell to deal with?”

“Yeah?”

“He didn’t mention Curses.” She blinked. He pulled her onto the bed, next to him, and sat her down. “When you get sent down here, you deal with a Curse. It’s, a personal punishment for why you ended up here. Alastor has never ending hunger, you know that.”

“Yeah. I mentioned that to you.”

“Well, we ended up with our own. Looks like you got it too. You remember ‘The Shining’ right? It’s one of your favorites?”

“Yeah?”

“What did Dick Halloran tell Danny he could do with his grandmother?”

Cora thought for a moment. “They could have whole conversations by just looking at each other.”

“That’s what we all have. Me, Whirl, Talia, and Cyrus, and now you.” He told his wife softly. “We can- we have this psychic link I think. We can, sometimes hear what everyone’s thinking but we didn’t know if you’d wind up down here with it too.”

“Can they, hear us?”

“No, doesn’t work like that. And not that well if we’re this far apart.” Stephen added. “We tested it. Just, means we’re closer together.

“There’s something you’re not telling me.”

Stephen sighed and caved. “We can also feel the injury another one of us gets. Including when one of us dies. Whirl got into a gunfight with a Sinner Cyrus and Talia’s first year here and they felt him get blown up. I got stabbed in the head and everyone felt that.”

“Wait what?!”

“No, no Cora don’t worry! You can’t die in Hell! Well. Not from each other, like that.”

“Not ‘like that’?”

“... Alastor, kept us in the dark for a reason.” Stephen said softly and pulled out his phone. Cora watched as he tapped something in and held it up, showing her a frightening sight. “This is an Exterminator. They, are in charge of controlling overpopulation.”

“Wh- what-?” Her heart dropped into her stomach. “You mean-?”

He pointed at their weapons. “You get hit with one of these, you can’t recover from any injury. You die by their hands, that’s it. You’re gone and you don’t come back.” Cora’s wings popped open again.

“Oh my fucking god…”

“Listen we have warnings. There are alarms, and sirens, and bunkers and a countdown to the next one. It’s not gonna happen for a few months and we have lots of time. We hunker down for twenty-four hours, we stay quiet, and we’re fine!” He reassured. “I’ve been through two already. Talia and Cyrus have been through five and Whirl almost twenty! We’ve all made it. You will too!”

“I can’t believe this.” She exhaled, but deep down knew why Alastor would have hidden it. Knowing the full extent of what Hell provided, especially after all of _that_ would have made her stew in panic long before she even made it. And what could she have done anyways? It’s not like he knew they would-

_HADITCOMING_

“Ack!” She winced.

“It’s, best not to think of what happened. We, don’t like to remember.” Stephen murmured, reaching for his wife’s hand. Hesitantly, she took it. “We’re gonna make it, don’t worry. We’ll make it.”

Suddenly, from the kitchen, came the loud off key version of a song.

_"GET YOUR CUP OF POISON COFFEE, CUP OF TOXIC JOEY. WE'LL MAKE A DOUBLE MOCHA LATTE WITH THE FROTH FOR YOU JACK! HEY MISTER BUSINESS, HOW DO YA DOOO~...I FORGOT THE WORDS BUT DISHES ARE DOOONE~"_ Came the muffled song, and though he had enthusiasm Bo clearly could not sing.

“Yeah uh, maybe not with Bo’s drunken singing.” Stephen peered at the door. Cora winced.

“Joy.”


	2. Adjusting

Cora woke up the next day to a note left by Stephen: 

“Hey hon, didn’t want to wake you. Went to get groceries and Bo went out for work briefly!

Love you~

Steph :) “

She smiled and folded up the note, getting up with a loud yawn and stretch. She’d make some coffee and see what there was to do around there. Still in the clothes from last night that she’d dropped down in, but having nothing else, Cora just put her glasses back on and headed for the kitchen. She was in the middle of brewing the coffee when there was a knock. Curious, she headed over to the door and reached for the knob, then caught her reflection in the hall mirror.

Hell. She was in _Hell_ Lord- Satan only knew who was on the other side! She crept a peek from the peephole, then lit up upon seeing a familiar visage. She unlocked and opened the door.

“Angel?! Alastor?! How did you- right. Right, you knew where my husband and friends would be. Why’d I expect anything less?” She chuckled dryly.

"Yeah Al didn't even tell me you finally dropped in til I asked him where my Tally's card went." Angel huffed, holding out his arms but not pressing for a hug in case it was unwanted.

Cora immediately took it, no questions asked. She hadn’t hugged the Spider since she summoned Alastor after Stephen died. “We ‘hot stepped’ down. C’mon in. Stephen went to get me some groceries and his- well, our roommate went out for a bit.” She stepped back. “Oh! Yeah the card, here.” 

"You didn't bring me with." Angel pouted at Alastor.

"You were busy." Alastor deflected.

“In any case, either of you want coffee?” She asked as the door was shut behind them. “Just got the machine to work!”

"It is early!" Angel nodded.

"I never turn down coffee." Alastor agreed.

She headed over to the kitchen, and poured herself a mug and grabbed another two for the pair. She brought them over, handing them out. “One for you, and one for you, and one for me!” This was the first time they’d visited outside of Halloween.

"And suger for Al."

"I don't like--"

Angel leaned over and kissed his ear. Alastor rolled his eyes.

“D’aw, cute.” Cora chuckled and sipped hers. “Mm, missed drinking this stuff. Stupid hospitals got antsy if I eyeballed chai tea!” 

"Well now you can put your eyeballs in anything you want!" Angel laughed. 

“I could go for pancakes right now.” She said, eyeing the cupboards. “I’ll have to make some when you guys head out.”

"Yeah we ate already," Angel shrugged. "Had to get an early start."

“Plans for today?” She asked, tilting her head. 

"Not many, just had to talk the twins into actually getting out of bed. Vinnie's started to think school is… well I'm not repeating it." Alastor answered. 

Her eyes lit up. “Jim and Vinnie! Oh my god how are they?!” She hadn’t even thought of them! Wait. She was in Hell- “did the others meet them already?”

"Nah… We was waitin' til you all came down." Angel answered. "Don't feel right if somebody's missin' you know?"

She grinned. “Glad I’m that special. We should have dinner! I need to cook you guys ayam percik!”

"Damn you." Alastor stated politely.

“What?!” Cora sputtered.

"Blessin' you wouldn't be right. We're demons. We ain't blessin' shit." Angel laughed.

“Oh.” Right. _Hell_. “That makes sense. But, seriously it’s really good. It’s my dad’s recipe! It’s chicken that’s halfway fried in this spicy chili, garlic and ginger sauce mixed with coconut milk, and then you barbeque the rest of it and add more sauce! It was one of my favorites growing up.” A pang in her chest.

_Miss you…_

_Who? Who is this_

_What?_

Cora had a thousand yard stare on her face.

"Cora?" Alastor asked. "Did you lose the station?" 

  
“Uh? S- sorry. Alastor, did you say something?” She rubbed her temple. Her body was starting to hurt. “I didn’t catch wh- whatever that was.” Her stomach clenched. No. No way. More pain, from her pelvis to her chest! No she was dead! Why was it-? She set aside her coffee cup, trying to not cry out when the first wave hit her. She managed to grit her teeth and grab at her abdomen, taking a deep, hissing breath in.

"Woah, hey." Angel said, reaching forward. Alastor caught his hand.

"Don't touch her." He warned, then knelt in front of her. "What's happening?"

“Fuck it’s supposed to stop! I died-” she clenched her jaw as the spasms began. “I died, why isn’t it stopping?!” 

Angel, empathetic, brought a hand up to his own left eye as a migraine started. He ignored it, needing to be here for a friend instead of in his own head. He'd been at this longer. He knew how to push it down.

Alastor, at least, was calm enough to think about what actually needed doing. 

Tears began to form in Cora’s eyes as her back and abdomen throbbed. “The tumours are gone, they’re supposed to be gone I’m not supposed to-!” She was panicking. No, no, no! She couldn’t still have cancer!

"You need to lay down. Can you move?" Alastor asked.

"Side." Angel advised, fighting his own reliving. "Don't wanna choke…" 

She slowly lowered herself. Her whole body hurt, her lungs hurt-! “It’s supposed to be gone!” Cora sobbed, unable to do much beyond sit against the wall, gritting her teeth a bit and breathed slowly.

"It is gone. But you'll still feel it." Angel said, starting to rock. "It's just constantly healin' over…"

“You’re shitting me.” She rasped.

"I got a fuckin' hole in the head." Angel stated. "Not really cuz it heals but it'll hurt like a bitch if I think about it." 

The first attack, thankfully, only lasted ten minutes before Cora could breathe normally again. She picked herself back up, embarrassed. “... it metastasized.” She explained softly. “Got up to my lungs, that’s when I knew.”

Alastor let out a sigh. "At least this happened somewhere safe. Are you alright now?"

“My pride is more wounded than I am.” She took back the coffee and took a long sip. “Mm. What, were we talking about?” She tried to pretend like it hadn’t just happened. Her eyes stung a bit from sobbing so hard. 

"I need to…" Angel trailed off, standing and heading toward the bathroom. 

“Angel-?”

"He'll be fine in a minute." Alastor assured. "You know he's emotional!" He continued, clearly trying to draw attention away from the situation.

She let him, not questioning anything. “... Do you get anything like this?” She asked softly, alluding to her chronic attack. 

"My curse is a constant." Alastor answered. "And I don't think on my death much anymore but… Dogs cause some worry…" Alastor answered.

“We’re not allowed pets. Dog free zone.” She chuckled weakly. “I’m more of a cat person anyway.” 

"My children are friends with a Hellhound and I am not allowed to be rude." Alastor deadpanned.

“D’aw, that’s cute.” Cora smirked. “I can't believe I’m finally gonna meet them. Still remember when you and Angel told us you were gonna have kids! Let alone, you had them and we got to see the baby photos.” 

"They were so small…" Alastor said fondly. "Hardly the size of rats, now Vinnie could pass as a painted moose."

“Good grief. If they get summoned by some idiotic teens, good luck to ‘em! The teens I mean.” She chuckled. “I got an award for writing a demonic deer. People asked ‘where did you get your inspiration’ and I couldn’t tell them; ‘the literal same happened to me’. May have to write a sequel about a moose now-” she paused. Right. Her career was over. “Eh, right, maybe not.”

"You can still write." Alastor assured. 

“I write primarily horror, Alastor. I doubt I could freak out anyone down here.” She grinned wryly.

"Market it as slice-of-death then." He advised.

“A what-?!” She sputtered, confused, but then heard Angel behind her and turned. “Hey, you good?” 

"Yeah...Yeah, I'm good." Angel said quietly.

“Want some water?” She offered.

"Drank out of the sink." Angel shrugged. "Also why do you have eight dicks in your shower? I know those ain't yours."

“WHAT?!” Cora yelped and went dark red. Her mind instantly went to Stephen and then she remembered- “Bo.” 

"Bo should move those. There's a lady in the house now." Angel chuckled.

“Yeah. I’ll, talk with him when he gets back. Uhm, so yeah, supper!” She clapped her hands together. “Let me know what works for you guys and you can c- oh. Right, I don't have a phone anymore.” She then realized.

"Then you should get one!" Alastor said.

“I’ll have to ask Stephen. I have, nothing, right now save for the clothes on my back.” Cora said softly. Angel immediately fished a roll of money out of his fluff and tossed it over. Cora caught it, fumbling a bit, then became immediately flustered at how thick it was! “I- oh- Angel, no I couldn’t-” She stared at the wad of cash she held. 

"Just to get you started." Angel insisted. "It ain't like me and Al are hurtin' for cash. Trust me you don't wanna get desperate down here. Sleazes can smell that sort of thing."

She sighed, nodded, and took it. “Thanks. I- I mean it.”

"Don't mention it." Angel shrugged. "Whatever keeps you outta trouble." 

“I’m in Hell. Aren’t I already?” She teased 

"Lots of different kinds of trouble." Alastor pointed out, one ear turning toward the door.

  
She then heard the door unlock behind her. Stephen walked in, carrying bags and perked up. “Well, looks like the welcoming committee showed up!” He chortled. “Come to bug Cora and I?” He set down the bags, full of groceries. Cora took a peek and blinked at the different, almost knock-off brands.

"Yeah. I'm gonna probably kidnap her and take her shopping when I get bored." Angel stated.

“Please do so. Oh! Cora, Talia texted me. Your card’s ready. We can pick it up tonight!”

  
“We’re going back?”

“Yeah I work another shift! I mean, if you don’t wanna go, that’s fine. You can stay here-!”

“I’ll go!” Cora perked up with a big smile. “I just, should probably, get some stuff today for living here. Clothes, essentials, and oh, I need a phone-” 

"Gun or a knife." Alastor advised.

“... what?” 

“Yeah you’re gonna need one. Uh, rapists end up down here too and-”

  
“Okay! Don’t need to know the rest of that.” Cora squeaked. “We should, probably, get me a weapon first.” 

Truth be told Cora never fired a so much as a BB gun in her life. Yet here she was, holding a semi-automatic handgun, with a slide stop. "Jesus." She cursed to herself.

"He ain't 'ere sweetheart." A tired looking yeti-like Sinner grumped, peering from behind his shaggy bangs. "You ever shoot?" When she shook her head, he snorted. "Down here for other things then. Got it."

"What do you think hon, will this work?"

"I, guess. It's light enough." She nodded. Stephen paid cash up front, getting her ammo as well. "Where'd you get all that?" She asked as they headed out of the store, the handgun resting against her thigh in it's holster.

"I've been working since I got here." Stephen shrugged. "Odd jobs next to Tally Hoe's. I wanted to make sure you had more of a cushy landing."

"You, didn't have to do that."

"I wanted to." He reached out, with his clawed hand and took hers.

Her heart fluttered. Still the same, despite the new body. Some things never changed.

_Missed you_

_Missed you too_

Her eyes widened. "Did- did you just-?"

_If we're close enough we can do this_

_So strange. Can't think_

"It's, layered. I think." Stephen said as they walked down the street, every new creature drawing Cora's attention. "You have you own thoughts but then there's the link. It's like a stream; sometimes it leaks into someone's mind, but unless you jump into it you don't really- you're still you. We're just, connected. The stronger the emotion the more it leaks in." He saw Cora's face and laughed. "I had time to fool around with everyone and figure it out. But, we'll have to re evaluate as soon as we're all at Tally's tonight- what's with that face?"

“The Stephen that used to be human was a skeptic, not a denier. But given we were friends with a voodoo spirit, well okay _half_ voodoo spirit, and a demon I was past the denial phase long before we started dating.” 

“Yeah.” Cora trailed off, eyes drawn back to her new form. “I’m scrawnier than I was as a human.”

“I kinda noticed but, you were always pretty thin.” 

“Pa said I needed to eat more. I got his metabolism.” Her gaze softened. “... I never told them.”

“I don’t know if they’d have believed you.” 

“Still. They both died, they’re probably not down here given how selfless and good they were.” Cora’s shoulders sagged. “I should’ve told them. Thought I’d die with no regrets but, here I am.” She poked her cheek again. Stephen nudged her shoulder.

“Hey, how about we get you some clothes? Let’s not worry about the phone today. We can pick that up tomorrow!”

“I hate clothes shopping.”

“Good news is most of the outlet stores down here carry your ‘style’ hon.”

Cora grinned. “You can say ‘Gothic’, it’s not offensive.” 

“Well they carry edgy clothes. Very edgy clothes. I think there are more Hot Topic-like shops down here than there were upstairs.”

“Please don’t remind me of how many times I dragged your ass to that store when we first started dating!” She cringed.

Stephen smirked. “Now, it’s my turn.”

“A hundred. Bucks. For a shirt.” Cora ranted as she and Stephen headed to Tally Hoe’s. “That’s such a- a-!” 

“Rip off? Yeah. I told you we may not find anything besides some underwear.”

  
“Yeah, bottoms were fine, god forbid any clothes have slits for these things!” She swung her thumb back at her wings. She was wearing her new jeans and sneakers but was still in a simple black t-shirt that she’d come down in the night previously. It now sported a stain from the BBQ Ribs they’d had for dinner.

“Well lucky for you I know some people.” He stopped at the bar. Talia was waiting outside.

“Freshly minted, all yours!” She handed Cora her membership card. “Keep that on you!” 

“Thanks.”

“Oh and Brodie and Tally are ready! I gotta get back to work.” Talia told Stephen, heading inside.

“Ready for-?”

“Like I said! I know some people.” Stephen grinned and brought her along.

Tally was just finishing up a quick walk-around of the bar to check on everything before she noticed Cora and Stephen come in. She crowed happily and hopped over. "There's my new wingy-thingy!" She teased, flapping her own feathers and causing a gust to lift a bit of glitter off of the floor. 

“Hey!” Cora grinned awkwardly. Her shirt now sported some sparkles. 

“So we tried, and nothing.” Stephen shrugged. “No outlet carries wing slits big enough for hers! The ones that do are over a hundred per item.”

"Slits chafe anyway. What you want is a hole in the back with a flap that comes down the middle and buttons closed." Tally explained. "Easy enough to make, really." She flicked her tail. 

“Well we have the cash and time if you have the latter!” Stephen smiled. 

"Shirts, dresses, or both?" Tally asked. "And about how many?" 

Stephen looked at Cora. “Who m-? Okay. Ah. Maybe, about three shirts and a dress?” 

“Hon that’s not gonna be enough!”

“I don’t know! I’m so used to just, having clothes! I forgot what it was like needing them!”

“Six shirts then and two dresses.” 

"Easy, honey." Tally agreed, then pulled out a small notebook and a fabric measuring tape with colored notches on it instead of numbers. "Go find Brodie, tell him to measure you and write down what he says." 

“Will do!” Stephen walked away. Cora stood there, awkwardly, glancing around the bar. It felt so familiar to her, the setting, the people, the chatter as they got ready for another night… 

Brodie was set back behind a speaker, the back of it opened up. He had a few wires out, foiling them and shoving them back in. He cursed as he got a mild shock, but kept at it for the time. It was a quick fix but it beat having to find a new one.

“You know that’s not gonna fix that right?” Stephen chuckled, kneeling down. 

"I'm a handyman not an electrician." Brodie chuckled. "If up to me I'd just kick it and hope fer the best."

“Ma needs help, my wife needs some clothes. I’m shockproof so I’ll fix this before we find you back here twitching.”

"Got it." Brodie nodded, heading off to find his new task. He liked staying busy. He found Cora quickly enough, singling out the new face. "There's the lass!"

“Oh hey, pirate guy!” She recognized, perking up.

Brodie noticed the notebook. "Clothes, huh?" He asked, understanding. "Alright come upstairs with me. We'll get it squared away right quick." 

“Sure.” She followed the gerbil, reaching behind to keep her wings closed as they went up the stairs. They tickled at the worst times, stung at the even worse with any stimuli that came into contact with them.

Brodie led Cora to the workshop, several bits of clothing in various stages of completion around. He introduced himself and rambled on the way, being a talker while managing to really say much at all. At least he tapped a small platform about a foot high with his boot. 

Cora stepped onto it, but forced her wings to pop up and give him room to work.

"Like a fan." Brodie observed. "Could get real tips with those if you like dancin'." He said, taking the tape and unraveling it somewhat. 

“I have no sense of rhythm.” She chortled dryly. “Believe me, I took classes and I hated them. Uncoordinated was the least of my problems.”

"Not the right kind of dance for you then. The point's havin' fun anyway." Brodie said, setting the end of the tape down on the corner of her shoulder but quickly pulling away as she reacted.

“Sorry.” She mumbled, pulling her arms tightly against her body. “Sensitive.”

"No worries." Brodie said calmly. "Gotta touch you a bit fer this though. Or the new clothes won't hang right." 

“Right.” She nodded, and braced herself. Touches were incoming, she could deal with it.

Brodie was quick about it, stating out loud measurements that instead of centimeters or inches were something new like 'fourth blue', or 'third green', or 'twelfth pink' which he left for Cora to write down. His hands never overstayed longer than they had to and the whole thing managed to keep under five minutes. 

“All good?” She asked Brodie, holding the notebook.

"No bodies are bad." He countered. 

“I meant the measurements. Are you done?” 

"Aye, that ought to do." He nodded. "You got it all writ down, yeah?"

“Yep.” She handed back the notebook. There was a pop, a rip and- “THE HELL-?!” She stared at a new pair of arms! 

Brodie stared a moment, then laughed. "I know two blokes what can do that, it's fine. Mum knows how to make extra arm holes that look like pockets." 

“I didn’t even, know they were there!” She moved them, in tandem with her own arms. Holy shit, how did she make them go away? Wait. Angel Dust hid his. Couldn’t she do the same? She grunted, and tried to fold them back in. No luck. “Oh come on!”

"Well now we aren't done. I'll have to measure the new shoulders and between yer arms too." Brodie said, handing the notebook back. "Yer the same on both sides so at least I'll only have to do the one."

"Fair warning I'm hella ticklish on my sides." Cora advised, stretching out her new set of arms. Sure enough, forgetting about her wings, Brodie got clocked by one when he brushed against a part of her side. “Sorry!”

"That's alright," Brodie was laughing, completely unbothered despite the definite possibility of bruising under his fur. He stayed on the floor, sitting up and shaking his head. "Not the first time a woman's put me on me arse." 

“Goddamn stupid- _work_ with me!” She snapped at the offending appendages as they flapped and fluttered. “I, am so fucking sorry. I have no idea why they’re doing this.” 

"Took me ages to stop closin' me tail in doors." Brodie snickered, scooting a safe distance before standing. "It's fine. You got brand new muscles to learn to use."

“... Wonder if I can actually fly with these things.” Cora murmured, trying to creep a peek at the orange-and-black wings. She went to cross her arms, there was a ‘pop’ and- “hey they’re gone!” She also had two new holes in the side of her shirt. Well, that was ruined.

"Yeah bugs will do that…" Brodie mused. "Sure you can at least glide, get enough wind under them. Just sideways sails."

“You also said they were like a fan, right?” 

"Fan's just a sail that folds neat." Brodie shrugged.

“Right.” Well. She had a few ideas for- there was the pop. “And, my extra arms are back.” She sighed, looking tired. 

"I'll make sure Mum knows to make false pockets. They'll pop out and shrink back with the arms easy." Brodie assured as they finished up the measuring. 

“Thank you.” She sighed. “I really appreciate this. How much are we gonna owe you and Tally Hoe?”

"That's up to Tally. But she likes you so far. She might let you work it off instead of payin'. She's a right fair lady." 

Cora blinked. “Work?” Right. A job. She couldn’t expect Stephen to just pay for everything for her! Her career was, again, over. “I, am currently unemployed. I was going to start looking for work in a week or two but, I have this, condition that makes sound and touch painful so I don’t think I’ll be right for anything save for maybe the kitchen or clean up.” She told Brodie.

"Always room for a spare hand, lass. Just let Mum know. She'll find somethin'."

“Thanks- ‘lass’. You’re Irish?” 

"Of course! You think only americans wind up in the Rings?" Brodie grinned, showing off large front teeth in front, framed by fangs. A bit more menacing than a natural rodent even though the smile itself was kind. 

She bristled at the sight of fangs so close to her and her wings popped out defensively, causing a side table to wobble! “Oh sh-!” She swung around and managed to grab it, but her bottom hands fumbled and she lost balance- they all came tumbling down. “... it…”

"Ah, down she goes." Brodie snickered before righting the table. "Nothin' broken. No harm done, unless you ripped a wing?" 

“No, but my pride is dead on scene.” Cora quipped dryly.


	3. Dinner Party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Scorpius: This isnt canon to YCTH but im still using those characters/characterizations/events just because if you work on the same fictive universe for over a year and a half it's impossible to let go of. Slight spoilers for Baby Talk but its not a required read.
> 
> Stormy: plus the fictive universe is fucking amazing, please go read if you haven't. Now onto the story:

***4 Days Later***

Cora had bought everything she needed: chicken thighs and legs, tumeric powder, white pepper, tamarind/chilli/rempah paste, garlic, ginger, onions, cardamom, cloves and rice. She'd spent the whole day in the kitchen, blending and seasoning and marinating and frying. To her delight, the chicken didn't burn and neither did the rice. She was ready for company. Bo was out again, thankfully, so it was just her, Stephen, the Crew and Alastor’s family going to be over and eating.

The first doorbell rings were Talia and Cyrus, all smiles and bringing a chocolate cake for dessert. Cora served them coffee and they’d barely sat down before Whirl arrived, his arms draped around two women. Cora balked.

“Sorry, I woulda called but eh. Figured as long as I brought some food this wasn’t gonna be a big deal.”

“Uhh, Whirl, who are they-?”

“My main squeezes, Molly and Cherri!” He hugged them to his sides.

“So you’re the infamous Cora!” Cherri, the cycloptic one (why did her name sound familiar?) smirked. “Whirl doesn’t shut up when he starts talking about you and their crew!”

“He doesn’t, does he?” She quipped, looking up at the smirking peacock. “God, I could kill you right now.”

“Haha just try and see what happens!” Whirl shot back, walking in with the two women. Extra mouths to feed. She hoped the amount she made was enough!

"Did somebody mention murder?" Came the cheerful voice from the still open door, Alastor stepping in.

"Pa. No." Followed a new voice from a red and white furred teenager. Following him was another of similar build but somewhat slightly more feminine shape, though still with antlers. That one was black and pink. Though they both mostly favored deer, Angel's spidery build was still apparent in the extra limbs and less humanoid faces.

“Hey Alastor-” Her eyes widened slightly upon seeing Alastor and Angel’s children. “Jim and Vinnie? Hey! I’ve heard so much about you two, it’s good to finally meet you!” She held out her arm and- *pop!* “Goddammit.” She winced as her extra arms appeared.

"Eh, you'll get used to those." Angel assured, closing the door once his family was in.

Jim, a bit skittish, climbed up a wall to make room by taking up a corner. "Get down from dere." Vinnie huffed at him. Jim shook his head. Both of the twins's accents were odd. A mix of Angel's brooklyn and Alastor's hidden cajun hadn't mixed well so it was like hearing cursive out loud.

“Heh, ah, do you guys want coffee?” She asked, forcing the extra limbs back into her sides. “Liquor is available for the adults too!”

"Decaf for Vin, trust me." Angel leaned in to whisper. "Don't let them know, though."

“Right… I’ll make another pot.” She murmured back. It was so strange, but exciting to have everyone there. She hadn’t had the Crew over for dinner since before Whirl died, and now Alastor and Angel were joining them! Stephen perked up when he saw the others come in.

“Vinnie?” He asked, perking up a bit.

"Hey." Vinnie greeted.

“Hey I’m- wait where’s your bro- JESUS CHRIST-!” Stephen looked up at the wrong moment and his skin hardened. “Oh shit- nobody come near me for a sec!!”

Whirl cackled from his seat on the old couch. “Someone doesn’t have a difficult time getting hard!”

“WHIRL NO!” Everyone simultaneously yelled at him.

"Little ears." Alastor warned.

"We're seventeen." Vinnie pointed out.

"All of your ears are huge." Angel snorted.

“Jesus you’re kids.” Whirl whistled, smirking. “You’re around our age when we first met your old men! Haha, boy what a fucking night _that_ was-!”

“And that’s where we’re ending that!” Cora piped up. “Anyways, come in, I’ll get the coffee -a fresh pot for the kids- and we can visit! Dinner’s just in the oven staying warm!” She scurried off, back around the half wall and skirted by the table. Talia was smiling big when she got up to greet the twins.

“Oh lookit you two! Just as cute as your baby photos! Cyrus doesn’t Jim look so much like Angel?! All fluffy too!!” She was gushing. “I’m Talia, you can call me Auntie if you want!”

"We have so many aunts an' uncles…" Jim sighed, gesturing to where Cherri and Molly were. "Dere's two."

“‘Ey kids. Long time no see!” Cherri got up. “Especially you Angie. We gotta get out and blow some shit up now that your brats are almost all grown!”

“Wait. Wait Cherri is your-?”

“And Molly is related how?” Stephen asked.

"Molly's my sister, dumbass." Angel laughed, coming to sit next to his own twin, draping an arm around her. "I got the tits, she got the ass, but couldn't you tell?"

“Small fucking world!” Whirl hooted. “Jesus it took you this long to figure it out?! I’ve been with the girls for four years now!”

“We don’t go out much! We see each other all the time at Tally Hoe’s.”

That made Cora perk up and she went back over to the half wall. “Is, this really the first time we’ve all visited? Like, everyone here?”

Looks were shared. A mixture of, ‘yeps’, ‘yups’ and ‘guess sos’ echoed in the living room.

"A lot happened." Alastor admitted, a bit less cheerful than he usually was. The smile more forced.Jim pulled at the cuffs of his sleeves. Self-conscious as he knew part of the reason was himself. Vinnie noticed and climbed up the wall to join their brother, knocking antlers with him as a rough show of affection.

“Yeah we ah- there are reasons we don’t all get together like this. But hey! It’s a celebration!” Talia cheered. “We’re all back together again, you’re here Cora! Also, I missed your dad’s ayam percik more than certain dead relatives of mine. The moment you told me you were cooking it I had to show up.”

Cora cracked a grin. “Okay who here has had it before?” The entire crew stuck their hands up.

“Eye of what?” Cherri sniggered.

“For the newbies this is a Malay dish. It’s gonna be really spicy, but I toned it down a bit just in case. It’s chicken in a spicy coconut sauce.”

"I can put a whole coconut in my mouth." Vinnie stated proudly, effectively distracting their brother from earlier tension. "An' crunch it!"

Everyone stared at the kid. “Be right back.” Whirl got up. “Gotta go get a coconut-”

“WHIRL NO!” He was pulled back down by Molly.

Soon, supper was dished up and served. Jim and Vinnie climbed down from the wall to take proper seats. “Mari makan!” Cora said, and once again got a few stares. Right. No one save for her old crew didn't grow up around her house with her family. “Let’s eat.” She repeated in English.

Jim very subtly pushing any meat over to his sibling's plate as well as stealing a solid half of their vegetables. By their parent's lack of reaction to it, it was an expected behavior. Alastor's table manners were impeccable, though Angel was more relaxed about it despite having some trouble with the spice of the meal. The occasional cough from him was indication enough that Cora had hit the nail on the head when it came to the spice level. Talia was wolfing down hers as fast as Whirl was, but it became apparent by her growling and snarling, she had definitely lost some of her humanity in her new form. Stephen and Cyrus were the quieter eaters, Cora's eyes drawn to the snapping and snarfing coming from the friend who used to hate going anywhere to eat because it 'wasn't ladylike' to chew loudly. Cyrus used to wolf down anything he was given but given how slowly each morsel went in, it was like he had to focus to "eat". Whirl used to be a "Lone Wolf", but now he'd brought not one but two "lady friends" who seemed to be much, much more than "squeezes" to him. Things had really changed. Her friends all had. Cora felt frozen in time.

“Holy shit this crap’s good!” Cherri coughed, eye watering when she ate a bite of the chicken. “This eye ‘a stuff is decent!”

“A bit too spicy fer me.” Molly coughed, setting down hers. “But, the rice is really good! And the vegetables! You didda good job on dis Cora.”

Cora snapped back into reality at just the right moment. "Oh, thank you!"

"An eye or two would certainly add a pop to it." Alastor joked. Vinnie snickered. Jim frowned but the comment didn't deter him from eating.

“Ayam percik.” Cora perked up, always happy to share that half of her heritage. “This next to spaghetti casserole and my pa’s pecan pie were my favourites growing up.”

“Yeah Kaiden and Sif were really cool.” Whirl said after finishing snapping down another bite, speaking to Molly. So jarring. “Whenever my old man was being an asshole I could just crash at Cora’s. Her dads would feed me ‘till I popped. The downside was watching them constantly be so fuckin’ lovey-dovey. Urgh.” Cora’s smile fell a bit as the subject went towards them.

"Haven't done homework fo' a week cuz Dad and Pa bein' gay in de hallway." Vinnie stated, making a show of gagging. As their mouth opened wider than usual, their lower jaw split apart.

Cora startled, and her wings popped open! She knocked over the wine in Stephen’s cup, and smacked Molly across the face! “SHIT! Sorry! Sorry!” She apologized profusely. “You okay?”

“No harm done sweetie.” Molly reassured. “As long as my money maker’s lookin’ fine!” She turned to Whirl and Cherri, both nodding with their mouths full but trying to stifle laughter and not choke. He wasn't bantering as much as he did before. He was totally engrossed in the two.

Change. Why'd things have to change?

Jim, quickly and quietly took his plate with him back up to the corner of the ceiling. He wasn't too bothered but felt better if he was out of the crowded area. “Fuck.” Cora cursed under her breath, taking it as an offence. “Listen I didn’t mean- I was surprised-!”

"No, hon, it's fine." Angel said quickly. "No weird shadows so everything's cool."

"I'm jus' gettin' out of de danger zone." Jim explained.

"He doesn't like to be touched either. Or crowds in general." Alastor told her quietly. "He's a bit like you."

“Ooh.” Cora clued in. She didn’t press it any further and left it be, getting it. She needed space at big parties too. “He’s welcome to go in our room if he needs a break.” She added, over her shoulder.

"Got de whole ceilin'." Jim shrugged.

"Not if I go up too." Vinnie threatened.

"Fuck off."

"Swear jar when we go home." Alastor tutted.

“... So! Ah, let’s see what’s new?” Talia mused. “Oh! My last show went really well!"

"'Show'?" Cora blinked.

"I do burlesque."

"You _what_?!?" Cora's jaw dropped.

"Yeah, I started oh, now let's see: I think it was a couple months after we got here, right Cyrus?"

"Three months." He corrected her, pausing mid lift of his fork. "The extra month you spent shopping and designing costumes for your sets."

"Ooh yes! Right! Haha, time just blurs together now!" Burlesque. Talia. Talia who bristled at the idea of strip clubs. Talia who couldn't look at a form fitting top without a wince. Talia who made self depreciating jokes about her weight no matter what Cora had tried to change her mindset. This woman, in three months had gone from self loathing to confidently dancing in heels. She hadn't even known Talia was into dancing! Was she as a human? How had Cora missed that? "... of course the club owner was more than thrilled with my set. Mimzy's is definitely a place I'm going back to soon, next time she has an open slot in her booking! Of course though given home schooling the kids, and my job as a waitress full time at Tally's, taking gigs twice monthly seems to be the best route to go for now!”

Cora perked up. “Kids? I thought you couldn’t reproduce in Hell-?”

“Oh! We adopted.” Talia smiled. “Four of them.”

“Four?!”

“I wanted four.” Cyrus muttered, a bit shy to admit it as he looked back at his still quite full plate. Where had his appetite gone?

“Brionne helped me with the chocolate cake, she made the frosting! You have to come over in a couple days Cora and meet them! Brionne is an amazing baker and Sydney is learning how to play the banjo-!”

"You pick up tadpoles or puppies?" Angel asked, curious on if the kids were imps or hellhounds.

Talia froze, as if realizing just now they had Angel in present company. She eyed Cyrus, and her tail puffed up a bit. Cyrus coughed. Talia nervously chuckled. “Neither.” She finally answered. "Skitters."

Alastor's face blanked for a moment before his ears creased backward. He didn't say anything, but his teeth were somewhat more on display. He looked downward. Angel put his face in his hands, also catching on. Even Vinnie looked a bit put-off and Jim's eyes flashed from red, to green, then blacked out all the way to the sclera. Even Molly, the newcomer, looked away, finding a lightbulb very interesting.

It was Cora, ever blunt, who looked between them all.. “Am I missing something here?!? Do unbaptized babies wind up down here or something?!!”

Cyrus sighed. “Alastor and Angel had more than Vinnie and Jim. A, lot more.”

“I’m not following-”

“Over fifty Cora. It’s a really long story but Alastor and Angel could only raise the twins.” Talia said, happy disposition gone. “It’s why we don’t bring them to work or anywhere they could encounter Alastor, Angel and the kids. They don’t like being reminded of what could have been.”

“I- fifty-?!”

"Hey," Angel said quietly, trying to be a voice of reason. "At least they're bein' taken care of."

“True. But trauma doesn’t go away just because things get better. They still need time to heal from what they dealt with: a long, long time.”

"Let's not discuss this." Cyrus said softly.

"No, no. Go 'head." Vinnie snarled. "Get de whole talk out. When two demons love each other very much--"

"Vinnie," Jim warned.

"One plays with voodoo--"

"Vin." Jim said again.

"Den dey throw a bunch of eggs out!"

“Guys-” Cherri started as well.

"Den my fuckin' brother dies."

Alastor left his chair and stepped out of the room entirely. Several shadows in the room had started to warp, but didn't follow him out. They weren't his. Cora was the only one noticing and becoming increasingly distressed. Her wings were opening, but more slowly, rigid. Everything was different, too different. Everything changed. Everything was unsafe. Everyone was doing better or worse-

Talia’s shoulders sagged. “Vinnie, honey I meant no disrespect to you, I’m so-”

"Will you let it go, Vin?" Jim barked, dropping his plate which shattered on the floor. "I'm still here, ain't I?"

"Okay can we all please just change the fuckin' subject?" Angel asked, noticing the shadows but used to them to the point of overlooking them most of the time. He was more concerned with peacekeeping anyway even as Vinnie fumed.

Talia looked away, hands in fists, tail absolutely puffed up and Whirl was still eating his food, but much slower, watching shit go down. “Please.” Cora rasped, feeling like there was a hand squeezing her heart. Nothing familiar was left. Not her body, not her friends, not even the ones she'd made here-

_Honey?_   
_Don’t Want To Remember_   
_Hell’s with the shadows? When did they start movin’_   
_Didn’t mean to start something, just can’t bear it! They cry so much, they cry all the time!_   
_Great, so dinner is ruined-_

**_STOP TALKING CAN’T THINK CAN’T BREATHE-_ **

“JESUS!” Whirl startled, recoiling and Cora startled again, this time falling out of her chair! They were all so loud, too loud, too fucking loud-!

“Cora?! Cora breathe-” Stephen reached out to touch her arm.

“DON’T TOUCH ME!” She slapped Stephen’s hand away before she realized what she’d done. Upset, she got up. “... I’m going for a walk.” She said softly and quickly left the apartment.

Everyone sat there, looking at each other, and Whirl sat back down. A beat. Two. Three- “Anyone want dessert?”

  
Alastor was up on the roof, standing at the edge and looking out over the dark skyline of the city. Alone, or believing he was, he had allowed the smile to drop from his face. Distracted and upset, even his heightened hearing failed to pick up on the moth behind him.

“... Well. That’s a first.” Cora croaked, seeing Alastor without his smile for the first time. Her eyes were bloodshot from crying. She sat on the ledge of the building. “This, was such a fucking bad idea. I’m sorry.”

Alastor plastered the smile back on, but his eyes were still tired. "Oh every dinner party has it's tension!"

“That wasn’t tension and we both know that. I’ve had dinners with Stephen’s family, I know unresolved conflict when I watch your kid get pissed and Talia can’t keep her trap shut.” She exhaled. “I’m not gonna ask what the fuck you or Angel did. I just- ugh. It all went better in my head.”

Alastor sighed and let the smile drop a fraction. "We couldn't…" He began, then stalled.

“You don’t. Have to tell me. I got enough context from all of that to figure it out. I know Talia wasn’t trying to be hurtful either so, don’t worry. She doesn’t blame you for shit.” She reassured him.

"I blame me." Alastor admitted, scrubbing his hands over his face. "If I had just left well enough alone… But it's done. Are you alright?"

“Mm. Panic attacks are rough. Talia made a decent point about trauma. Things don’t, go away because everything feels like it got better.”

"Well that's what distractions are for!" Alastor said.

“And what the hell am I supposed to distract myself with now that I’m down here?” Cora turned towards him. “My ‘distractions’ were all I ever focused on and now I gotta face the music.”

"Learning to control those wings might be a start." Alastor suggested. "I believe I mentioned lessons on our way down."

She sighed and closed them. “Right… guess, now’s a good time as any. I’m not going back in there.” She stood up. “So tell me, what’s step one?”

"Have you ever learned to swim?" Alastor asked, placing a hand at her back.

“Yeah? When I was like, six. Why?”

"It's a surprisingly similar process." Alastor answered. "Instinct is the best teacher after all!"

“Ins-”

Without further delay Alastor shoved the bug off of the edge of the roof! Cora fell, screaming, flailing but instead of catching herself and gliding like Alastor intended, she hit the ground with a sickening ‘thud!’ and ‘crack!'. Uh oh.

"Well." Alastor sighed. "That's one. Don't worry. Get old enough, you'll lose count." He said, not bothered by the corpse. It wouldn't stay a corpse long. He passed through shadow to follow her to the ground, keeping watch over her body and waiting.

Cora’s eyes opened fifteen minutes later. Her head hurt, and so did her arm. “Fuck- fuckin’ oh fuck-” she cursed, feeling the crack in her skull finish knitting back together. She slowly pushed herself up. “‘M alive?!”

"No. Still dead. But you are awake!" Alastor answered.

Cora’s wings flared as she pushed herself up. “What. The hell. Is _wrong_ with you?!?” She snarled.

"According to several people, quite a bit." Alastor answered cheekily. "You're fine now."

“That’s not the point Alastor! You still- you didn’t warn me! I would have jumped on my own!”

"Would you?" Alastor asked.

“That’s not even- for fuck’s sake you don’t do that to people! I- god!” She was tearing up again. “I trusted you!”

"Bad choice." Alastor pointed out. "You know me better than that. Anyway crashing the first time is normal. Husker hit the pavement plenty of times before he could glide and now he flies daily!"

Her shoulders slumped and her wings lowered. He was right. “I should have told them.” Her filter didn’t catch the thoughts that flittered in her still healing cranium. “About you. About what we did. About everything. They’re never going to see me again.”Alastor took a step back, catching on a bit late that his presence was unwanted now. This whole evening was a bust, it seemed. Her chest seized up. “All I’ve done is distract myself and there’s nothing left to distract myself with! My career is over. My parents are dead. I have- all I did was pretend I didn’t know or care and now-” she choked down a sob. Now she was in Hell. Now she was being punished. Now she was in a body she didn’t feel connected to, everyone was so much more adjusted to everything than she was- “I don’t know anymore…” Cora swallowed. The tears started falling. She backed away. “Just- I need space. I need to think!”

Alastor didn't respond. Unsure how to. He was at home in Hell by the first week, but then he had more than most humans did on arrival. He was lost here. It seemed the more people he let close, the less he knew. He let her go, not following.


	4. Check In

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> StormFireGirl: Heads up the ending story (the italicized paragraph) is gonna deal with some heavy shit involving mentioned minor abuse both physical and sexual, cults, religious abuse, and abortion mention. You can totally skip it, it's not needed save to give context for upcoming chapters!

She didn’t care where she went, so long as she didn’t have to go back for a while. Her wayward path took her down several streets, until she happened upon a Hotel. Cora sighed, thankful she’d taken her wallet with her. Maybe she needed to stay away for the night, and just collect her thoughts. ‘Hazbin Hotel’, the sign read. She exhaled, walked up the road and headed inside. “Hello?” She called out, at first seeing no one in the lobby. Cora walked a few more feet. Lights were on. 

A winged cat stood, having been rearranging bottles under the front counter and bar to put the open ones forward and the sealed toward the back. He squinted, then grunted. "Come on in." He said gruffly, halfheartedly dusting off the counter. "Door's open all hours for a reason."

“Oh! Uh, thanks. Where’s reception?” She asked. 

Husk turned, grabbing a clipboard from a high shelf and passing it over. "There."

“... I, think I have the wrong place. This is, rehab?” She blinked in confusion upon scanning it.

"Sort of." Husk shrugged. "It's a really fucking blurry line."

“I just- I need a room for a night. That’s it.” 

"Most people just pass through." Husk nodded. 

“Right. Uhm…” she filled out her information. “How much do I owe for the night? I have cash.” 

"Leave any drugs or other shit out and it's free." Husk answered. "Fucking stupid business practice but I guess a princess has money to throw away." 

“I ah- okay. Cool. Don’t, have any of that on me.” She said, handing it back over and eyed the bar. 

"I don't care if you do." Husk admitted. "I ain't a damn sniffer dog."

“Yeah. Nobody cares down here.” Cora quipped dryly. “... Can, I get a whisky and coke- I mean cola, please?” She requested, fishing out a ten and fifteen from her wallet. “If you’re open for business right now.”

Husk took the ten and made the drink. It was a notably large one, and he passed it over. "Any reason you're coming in this place so late?" 

“... Just, needed to get away, for a while, and think. I’m out of distractions. I’ve got nothing left so, I guess it’s just, figuring out where to go. I’d disappear altogether but my husband is down here and I love him too much to do that to him.” 

"Real hard to kill yourself down here anyway." Husk gruffed with a tone that said he had experience in the matter. "Decent time-waster though."

She sniffled. “I already died twice in the last week and one was really slow, and really painful. The other still hurt. I’d rather not do it again for a really long time.” Her chest tightened. “God Junie must have done the funeral by now, knowing her."

"Don't think about it." Husk advised, tapping his claws on the counter. "Drive yourself nuts like that."

A sob escaped her. “Fuck, I’m sorry.” She apologized, and took a big swig. “I knew this was coming, and I’d end up here for what I did. I- why am I so upset?!”

"You're new, huh?" Husk guessed. "Take a breath. Take a drink. And try to look forward. Past is done already, kid."

She sniffled and nodded, exhaling long and hard. “Thank you.” She exhaled and removed her glasses to wipe her eyes. “Decent enough of you to listen.” 

"Decent is about as good as it gets so I'll take the compliment." Husk shrugged, pouring himself something and glancing at the clipboard before putting it back. "Harimau, huh? That's familiar…" 

“I was a horror novelist in my old life. Wrote some okay ones, so maybe from those. Blumhouse made a shit movie out of my first one. I made a mint, sold my soul and my book’s reputation for a long fucking time for that disaster.” She chuckled dryly, coughing a bit from the alcohol’s burn.

"Well if anyone tries buyin your soul down here don't take the offer. It's not just a saying with demons." Husk advised further.

“Gee fucking whiz. Go figure. I didn’t even know coke in rum was a thing until I got down here.”

"Coke used to have real cocaine in it." Husk pointed out.

“One of those factual sorta people?”

"I'm old. I pay attention to shit and I got a boyfriend that never shuts up. He's even older." Husk admitted. 

“How old we talkin’? You don’t look a day over,” she eyed him a second, “fifty.”

"Was in my late sixties before coming down. Was in 'nam." Husk answered. 

“Damn. I died on my forty-second birthday last week. My dad was in Desert Storm. Heard ‘a that one?"

"Spent a lot of the war a bit numb to everything." Husk shrugged. "If it wasn't in front of my nose I didn't think about it."

“... wish I could do that. Just, never think about the shit I shoulda or coulda done differently upstairs. I had tons of time to prepare for the end, but after it came I realized I should have told my parents that I was damned down here.” She opened up. “They went before I did. They- they’ll know in about forty-ish years if I never show up.” 

"Could do something for them. I got no clue if it works but I make moonshine for my Mama." Husk said. 

Her eyes widened and her wings popped open. “Sorry fucking-! You could do that? You- you can contact Heaven?!” 

"She probably doesn't get it but… Makes me feel better." Husk shrugged. "Just hope and prayer and a lot of shattered jars but it's <em>something</em>."

“I-” she choked again. “How do I do it?”

Husk sighed. He honestly didn't know if Ann was getting any of what he sent her. But it was better to have some sense of being able to do something. He walked around the bar, waving his claws for Cora to follow him out the side door to the courtyard garden. Once out he pointed at a far but bright entity. Like a moon with a halo. He pointed up at it. 

"That's heaven way up there. What we can see of it, anyway. I just say a prayer and throw shit at the moon." He shrugged. 

“... well. That’s really stupid but given where we are and what level of desperation I’m at right now I’m willing to try literally anything.”

"You ever heard 'It's the thought that counts.'?" Husk grumbled, turning to go back inside.

Cora sighed, and glanced up at the moon. This was ridiculous. Only, one way to find out. “... hey. Uh. It’s me. Listen I ah-” she inhaled and exhaled. “I fucked up really bad. I know you guys hate swearing but um- I’m not- I’m not coming up there. Anytime soon. I’m in Hell. I, should have told you guys, I’ve known I was gonna end up here since I was seventeen and, yeah.” She felt another wave of tears come in. “I’m so sorry. I wanted to tell you guys for years but I couldn’t. I just, distracted myself and coped with my writing. You were so proud of me but you had no idea that I- I murdered him. I murdered Wilson. It was- we didn’t mean to. It happened. I don’t know what I’m doing anymore! I’m so freaking lost. All my books were centred around the murder, around me knowing where I was going, and now that’s done. I feel like a sham. I feel like I wasted my life, and now I have nothing left to do. No purpose, no nothing and I-” she sobbed, loudly. “I wish I could- I wish it’d never happened. I want to see you guys one more time. I’m sorry. I let you down, I’m so sorry-!” She broke down, crumpling onto her knees as she stayed there, in the garden.

“... are you okay?” Cora didn’t look up at the soft voice. “Hey. Are you- can you, talk right now?” She peeked up and saw another Sinner standing there. She choked out a sigh.

“‘M sorry-”

“No, it’s okay! My name is Charlie. I’m the owner of the Hotel. I just- I saw you out here and I was worried. Did you wanna check in?”

“Already did.”

“Okay. Did you want to talk about it?”

“All I’ve done is talk about it, and nothing’s worked. I’m still- I still feel like shit.”

“I see.” Charlie sat next to Cora, cross legged, in the grass and stared up at Heaven, so far away. “Do you miss your old life?”

“... I miss, my parents. My sister. My niece. But I missed my husband too, he’s down here. I missed my friends, they’re down here too. The bad thing we did to wind up here nobody wants to, face it or talk about it. I feel so isolated, even with everyone around me."

“Maybe they're not ready to talk about what happened?”

“Probably. It’s just, hard to. I never got a chance to be- to tell someone, while I was human, what went down. I never told my parents. I should have. I regret it so much.” She looked at Charlie, who was nodding softly.

“You were close with your family.”

“We were. Really, we were a tight knit family. My dads did all they could for me and Junie growing up. I have, problems, mentally and they bent over backwards giving me therapy and leniency and protection. They gave me space, they gave me closeness, they gave and they gave because they wanted me to do better than they ever did. I failed them long before I was even done growing and they never knew.” 

“With, the bad thing you did.” 

Cora hiccuped. “They were so proud of my works. They had no idea I wrote all those, terrifying novels because I did it. They thought I had a really good imagination. I couldn’t bring myself to tell them, and what the Hell was I supposed to say?! _‘Hey pa, dad, I murdered Wilson! I’m the reason he disappeared and all those teens in our grade were traumatized probably for the rest of their lives! And oh yeah, while I’m at it, I’m going to Hell in a fucking hand basket, never see you again after you die!!!’_ ” 

Charlie waited a long moment for Cora’s breathing to calm and to see if she needed to say anything else. Then; “Do you want to see them again?” 

“What?”

“The Hotel is designed to rehabilitate Sinners and give them a chance at Redemption. My goal is to try and get as many Sinners up to Heaven. It’s worked a couple times now, it’s a hard road and sometimes some Sinners realize their purpose is to stay down here. There’s no pressure if you don’t want to. I run therapy groups and outpatients as well.” 

“... What’s the catch?”

“No catch, just, as long as you don’t engage in Sin. That defeats the purpose, y’know?” 

“I-” Cora sighed. “Can I think about the, Redemption, thing?”

“Of course. And, here.” She gave her a card. “That has the times for therapy on them. It’s free.”

“I- honestly didn’t expect decent therapists to be down here.” 

“I did some training after Sinners actually started arriving. I’m far from a good one but, I believe in what I’m doing. I have a purpose down here.”

“I’d love to have that. It’s, really bugging me that I have no idea what to even do anymore.”

“What did you do in the human world?” Charlie asked as they headed back inside the Hotel. 

“I wrote, a lot actually, like I said. I was a horror author.” Charlie perked up. “Yeah uh, that’s long done. I mean, I wouldn’t have an audience down here.”

“... maybe you’re selling yourself short a bit, given everything you’ve told me. Just because you wrote to cope with your trauma, doesn’t mean you can’t write or shouldn’t. Maybe you just need a fresh start and some new ideas. If, you have a title you can give me-?”

“‘The Radio Man’ was mine.” 

“I’ll give it a read then, see if you’re actually a ‘failure’, but I doubt it. You seem like you’ve still got some bright ideas left in you. Oh, and here’s your room.” She opened her door. It looked cozy, and clean. “Water’s on the table, drink up. You look like you’ve cried a lot. Check out is whenever you’re ready.”

  
“Thank you.” Cora croaked, smiling a bit as Charlie shut the door. She walked over to the vanity, grabbing the water bottle, and slugged it back before staring at herself in the mirror. “‘Fresh Ideas’. Sure. Where the fuck am I supposed to get those?” She muttered.

She went over to her bed and flopped down, eyes shutting. Cora let out a long, tired exhale as she tried to let sleep overtake her mind. But the shadows of her old life, times lost crept back in...

_"Pa?" Cora walked in, rapping her knuckles on the frame. A limp smile stretched across the freckled man's._

_"Hey pumpkin." He sighed and her dad looked up too from where he was sitting, holding the bony hand._

_"I was starting to worry anak kecil." He smiled warmly._

_"Made it." She sat down. "Is Junie here?"_

_"She'll be here in a couple of days. Is Stephen coming too?"_

_"He had some appointments but, yeah. We cleared our schedules best we could." She sat down next to the bed, on the opposite side. Her stomach churned. "Is it, that bad?"_

_Sif sighed softly. "Pumpkin, 'm not gonna lie, it's going to kill me. There's nothing else they can do." Cora teared up. This was the end. She was damned, but was her pa?_

_"I wanted to get your story. Yours and dad's, one last time. The world should know about you two." She cut to the chase._

_"Cora-"_

_"Tolong ayah!" Cora begged. "From both of you."_

_Kaiden sighed and looked at Sif. "Shall we?" He nodded. Cora turned on the recorder;_

_"So where did you both come from?"_

_"My mom came from Malaysia, as did my brother and I. We moved here after my father died when I was ten. Your aunt Mindy was born six months later. We grew up around here, and as Malaysia taught us English as a second language we knew enough to talk with neighbors, other kids. Always felt a, er,_ _" he searched his memory for the right word, "split from this society because of who we are. Thankfully your Nenek, er, grandma-"  
_

_"It's okay dad, you don't have to translate it." Cora reassured._

_"- Nenek made sure we kept some of our language and culture alive so that our children could be a part of this country, and the one we left behind. Your Nenek was proud of her country and came to love this one, as did I." They both missed her dearly, she'd passed away almost six years prior._

_Attention was next turned to Sif, who hesitated to start his story. "... I was born into the Flock of Christ, as a girl and raised with my sisters and brothers, all ten of them."_

_"Pa, when did you figure out you were transgender?"_

_Sif closed his eyes. "I wanted to be one of the men for as long as I could remember, and do the farm work and field work they did. My older brother David, he let me try on his trousers in secret because I was curious. They felt, right on me. I knew then that, I was very different."_

_"If, you don't want to mention anything else about the cult, I can-"_

_"It's okay pumpkin. I'll say it, one more time. For you." He reassured. "Pastor Samuel, he preached against the evils of sex and intercourse before marriage. Human beings were sinful, they stopped fearing God and sex and therefore the rapture was going to come in a few decades. We'd be spared, we were good Sheep. We were Lambs. Maybe because I was more invested in questions and learning, maybe because I was gullible- maybe for no reason at all… Pastor started bringing me to his house for study sessions. At first they were innocent, he said I'd make a good wife with how devoted I was. Then the touches. Then the-" his fist weakly clenched, "debauchery." He never had to say anything else. "I was confused, and ashamed, and afraid. I felt like I had no choice but to submit like I was supposed to. Then I wound up pregnant with Juniper. Pastor knew he'd fucked up. So he claimed it was the Anti Christ."_

_Cora scoffed. “Compulsive, sorry.”_

_He wheezed a laugh. “Me too.” Her pa grinned weakly and then continued;_

_“He claimed I was seduced by the devil but, there was a chance; if the Anti Christ was born in our camp, perhaps we could change the rapture of the Bible itself and bring in a new world for Christ. He was, so ready to manipulate everyone and everything I- it was horrifying. I was cast out, to this log cabin at the edge of our compound, and well. I had Junie in there. Pastor was still visiting me… then Junie got sick. I got scared, I thought she was dying and she was. We didn’t believe in medicine, but I was- I didn’t want to lose her. So, I escaped. I fled, with Juniper and we made it out. Hitchhiked to a town with a hospital, the police came. They were, too late though. Pastor fled with the Flock, all the way to Paraguay.” He exhaled. “Never heard of them again.”_

_“So, that brings us to where you learned about being transgender.”_

_Her pa coughed. “Mhm. I was, roommates with an amazing Queen. Jolene helped me understand who I was, and helped me not be in so much denial. She set me up with amazing people, she found someone to look after Junie while I worked and went to night school. She even helped me pick Sif as my name. I miss her dearly.”_

_“And now, to the night you two met.” Cora smiled warmly, but bittersweet._

_“I was out drinking, by myself.” Kaiden began. “I’d known for quite some time I was, er, honey what’s the word in English again?”_

_  
“Gay?” Sif chortled._

_“Right. Thirty years, still have troubles.” Kaiden tisked at himself._ _“Well. I saw your father sitting alone, and I thought to myself; “what’s such a pretty man doing, by himself? Why isn’t he with someone?” so I went over and I asked him how his night was going.”_

_“Well. I was a little, unnerved by such a tall man coming over and talking to me.” _

_“He told me, “buddy, if you think I have what you have, you are barking up the wrong tree!” And I was so confused. I looked at him and said, “you are not a tree though?””_

_“I couldn’t help laughing. I, told him I was transgender.”_

_“I asked him if that meant something and, he said, “a lot”. I bought him a drink, we talked. Been together ever since.”_

_Cora nodded thoughtfully. This part of the story she was so familiar with, it had been told to her over and over across her childhood, teens and adulthood. “It was never a hang up that pa was transgender.”  
_

_“No. He was still a man.” Her dad shrugged. “Still handsome.”_

_  
“Ooh, you.” Sif coughed and weakly slapped the other man’s hand. “Now, Cora, here’s the thing; I thought I couldn’t have another kid. I, had some cysts on my ovaries and, my fertility was nonexistent. We weren’t safe.”_

_“Which is why you were a very big, er,” Kaiden thought for a moment; “surprise. Yes, that’s the word.”_

_“And now I’m here, trying to tell the world about my two dads who ran a nightclub for as long as I’ve been alive.” She smiled warmly. “Is there, anything you want to tell me about that that I don’t know about?”_

_“... we thought about selling it the moment I found out I was pregnant with you.”_

_Cora paused. “It- what? I thought The Rainbow Room was your pride and joy? Er, pun non intended.”_

_“It, was but, money was tight. It was either the club, or, aborting you.” As her pa said the last two words, Kaiden looked away. “We made it work, we just had to cut some corners. I didn’t want to choose. I wanted to have you, but make a safe place for others like me.”_

_“We would, have chosen you anyway. The moment I learned you were here, with us, I knew.” Kaiden reassured. “You are kebanggaan saya. Kegembiraan saya.” He spoke in Malay, and Cora felt her eyes burn slightly. “My pride, my joy.”_

_“It, must have been a really tough decision to, not choose either and not know what was going to happen.” She said softly._

_“Seeing you now, here, with us and wanting to tell stories, lets me know I made the right choice.” Sif smiled warmly. “You are so gifted Cora.” He reached out, and weakly squeezed her hand. “I am so proud of you.”_

_“So am I. We hope we have instilled in you the courage to keep following your dream long after we are both gone."  
_

_Cora let out a quiet sob. They had no idea. No idea what she’d done. No idea that, she wouldn’t be joining them._

_Sif, her pa, died two days later in his sleep. She never got the courage to tell him._

Up there, where time was still passing for the living, Cora's manuscript, the biography of her parents and their triumphs and struggles was being published. It was all she could do to honour their memories. What courage did she have left when there wasn't even a dream to begin with...?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> StormFireGirl: Hey, I don't speak Malay at all. I tried to look up other English-to-Malay translators other than Google though to try and keep it grammatically correct. These characters, Sif and Kaiden I've had for a long time, they were invented by me and my best friend (no account on here but full credit to them!). Thank you all for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> SFG: Hey everyone, told you we weren't done yet ;) lots to come, wait and see!


End file.
